Morrison’s Space: A DeafBlind Activist

April 12, 2026

By Morrison

Create Access
Creating Access
Create from Access
Creating from Access
Create with Access
Creating with Access

Access over the years and how humans adapted where they created access for themselves.

A simple example: for those who hike, using a long stick to support you as you walk to steady yourself, to keep yourself balanced — you adapted and created access for yourself in a space.

Another simple example: long before electricity and gas came to be, during cold winter months, people would find access to fire to keep warm.

Access is not only about how we create it for ourselves because we know what we need and what will support us through a space… but how we naturally evolve in creating that access.

Until those who do not live through our experiences take over how access should be created…

Harm Access
Harming Access
Harm from Access
Harming from Access
Harm with Access
Harming with Access

When access becomes a form of harm, and is rooted there — so deeply rooted that it becomes harder to uproot it.

Since the enactment of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), access became rigid in how it was created rather than being fluid.

Instead of having the autonomy to create access, we have to ask for access to live in a space. We went from autonomously creating our own access that works for us, to being forced with access that’s created for us rather than by us.

Heal Access
Healing Access
Heal from Access
Healing from Access
Heal with Access
Healing with Access

To heal from the harms of not creating access, but being forced into inaccessible access, has been a long road.

When we try to express what we need but are given something else, it hurts and it doesn’t help, but deprives us.

Navigating spaces that have been predominantly created and designed by those who do not live our experiences feels exclusive.

The harm has been done, and done again and again, where we are forced to fight for what we need because those without our lived experiences don’t understand, and have taken access into a form of capitalism.

With capitalism at play, it becomes about them, not us. Forcing us to meet them where they are rather than meeting us where we are with access.

To heal is a long road, to try and take back what belongs to us – access based on our lived experiences, not theirs or others outside our lived experiences.

Healing with access is like having that fire lit to keep us warm, to survive the brutal cold.

But when that access we created for ourselves, like that fire, is taken away from us, we die.

Not to have access that’s created by our own feels painful; it hurts within. To fight and justify why we need that fire to live should not be.

Then we retreat to spaces where others share our very lived experiences. As we yearn to be among others who share the same access, we feel more alive again.

We exchange our hurt and pain for the lack of access, but then we heal because we are in that very space where we created our own access. We heal… we heal because we are now in our own space with our own access – access we created for ourselves.

Then we part ways and try to heal by embracing those moments within to carry us onwards, because this re-lit a fire within us.

Being in a space where we have access does heal within, recharges us.

This is written in honor of my experiences at Seabeck’s DeafBlind Retreat in Washington State. It was there where the space had access because it was created by those DeafBlind like myself. I am grateful for this sweet dear friend of mine who is a true leader in my hands, who urged me to go to this retreat.

You see, about a year before that I was given my first mobility cane and struggled to accept the reality of this. I had such a hard time accepting that I was going blind. I did not want any part of it because I was not among those who shared that experience.

Until I somehow came across this program, Support Service Provider, and was asked to be on the board. From there, I connected with two amazing DeafBlind people, one who urged me to go to that retreat, and the other who became a dear DeafBlind friend of mine. The three of us connected, and to this day we still are, even though we don’t live in the same city anymore.

So, this friend of mine was like, you must go to this retreat. I was reluctant at first because, one, I couldn’t come to terms with my truth… my identity. I had shame about becoming deafblind (and that is part of the harm inflicted by those not deafblind). And two, I didn’t know how I would afford to go. I had just come out of a relationship, became homeless, and was sleeping on my brother’s couch.

I decided that I would go, but only if I was able to raise enough money to help cover the flight and get that scholarship from Seattle Lighthouse for the Blind to be able to participate in this retreat, and I did! But it was only for half the week instead of the full week. I wasn’t sure about how the retreat would be, hence just wanting to go for half the week, and let me tell you I regretted doing that.

I flew out to Seattle, nervous but excited and curious… I met up with this group and recognized one or two that I knew from college and mutual connections. I remember it was like — you’re DeafBlind too?! The feeling was a mixture of joy, awe, and relief to see those you know are sharing that lived experience with you.

We all got on this bus, and after a long journey we finally arrived at this pristine place in Seabeck. Seabeck is this tiny, and I mean tiny quaint little town nestled in the woods along the bay. It was serene.

Fast forward to the first day: I met so many DeafBlind people from all over the country, and the world too. There were those who were like me (at the time), had some residual vision and used ASL; some with less residual vision who relied on tactile communication; some completely blind using a mix of tactile and Protactile. This was access, living and breathing through touch that was fluid, organic. I felt alive. I was socializing like I never had before. I belonged. This is what access does and should be – authentic and created by the very people living in the space.

The last day was so hard, and I remember reaching out to these two leaders of the Protactile movement, in awe and humbled to be in their presence, who took me in as one of them. It was there, in that moment, I learned about another opportunity to thrive in this space with access – a program created, implemented, and led by them and the DeafBlind community.

I was fortunate that I had the support from an amazingly supportive counselor from the New York State Commission for the Blind to attend this program for three months. I remember coming back from Seabeck, lit up within, a fire was roaring – I reached out to one of the instructors of the program and inquired how to sign up. I was persistent, emailed back and forth with them and the founder of the program. Reached out to my counselor, justified why this would be worth going.

Within a month, I was back in Seattle, this time for three months, to learn the DeafBlind way of living. Those three months were one of the happiest and most alive I’ve ever felt in my entire life. Truth.

I was meeting diverse DeafBlind members of the community, had friends to meet up with, hang out with, talk about social justice, disability justice. I was on fire within. I felt I was home because access was present, not absent. Every day, I would wake up to have this amazing breakfast cooked by a roommate who was DeafBlind. Then I would walk (in this amazing neighborhood – not on a campus) to my class, my sessions, led by this DeafBlind leader. I was so excited and hungry to learn, and wanted so much to embrace my DeafBlind identity and, what felt like to me at the time, a new world of access through touch.

So every day, I would wake up with excitement to learn from the community, the leaders themselves who have made impact and were DeafBlind. At the same time, those three months not only enabled me to grow, but provided for me while I was homeless – I had a roof over my head, healthy homemade food, and education developed and led by those DeafBlind.

I had the rich opportunity to meet DeafBlind folks of all walks of life; I had the honor to be invited into their homes where they showed me how they adapted for themselves – basic daily living skills living DeafBlind. None of this learning experiences was institutionalized, yet authentic and natural as how it should be. How they reached out to other DeafBlind to help them with little to big issues, from basic maintenance, braille, and technology.

From there, I was offered to work with the program, this program not only provided me with training and educational tools, but immediately offered me an opportunity to work as I didn’t have a job, and a job that afforded me rent. I was thrilled to accept and moved out there for the next several months.

This program was so unique, unlike Helen Keller National Center, an institution not lead and created by DeafBlind leadership and community… I am so grateful that I had the support to attend this DeafBlind-led and community-led program. It was there that I regained my confidence as a DeafBlind person, embraced my cane that I once had shame for, embraced the tactile world and Protactile language. I embraced the space that had access as it allowed me to heal from the hurt within.

Every year since that retreat, for the next four years, I would go back as staff, and each time I went back I felt at home – and many others did too. We didn’t have to fight for access because it was there. We didn’t have to fight for communication access, language access, because we were in that space. We didn’t have to worry about NOT having a CoNavigator because it was provided all day long and every day. I was able to go for a run among my DeafBlind peers and our sighted guide. It was indeed the happiest I have been in my life.

But each time the retreat would come to an end, many of us would become sad to leave because we were leaving our access and liberation behind. Going back home, to a space that did not have access that is led by us, hurts within. It left many depressed knowing that they will once again be isolated within their homes and society away from this place.

Many return to states that do not have services adequately designed by them for them, but designed by those not. We find ourselves back in that vicious cycle of a broken system and policies that do not reflect our lived experiences and needs. Not led by our community. The harm is once more perpetrated, and when we fight we are viewed as angry “emotional” folks rather than human beings striving for our access, our space, but forced to meet society where they are with access for us rather than the other way around.

The gist of this blog is to share that we know what we need and we create it, but then it is taken from us, and filtered to what non-DeafBlind folks who do not use tactile want and view access to be. They take the credit for their work and don’t give us the credit for our innovative way of life, ideas and the impact we have made… over and over again people, policymakers, folks in state departments expect us to volunteer our time to “help” them create access, a space for us. When we do, it’s not taken but filtered down and down again to where it remains inaccessible.

As a result, many DeafBlind people (myself including) have stopped volunteering our time to share our thoughts and ideas because it was a job that should have been given to us, a paid job rather than not. Many do not have the means to afford pleasures in life such as education, trainings, and traveling. I have met and known this one (of many) DeafBlind person who has been used as a token over and over and over again, and where they have used her time to volunteer her ideas and feedback — and she wants to travel but cannot because she doesn’t have the means. She were not paid for her time to be able to afford that. This DeafBlind person recently shared this with me with sadness, that they want to travel but cannot afford it. This is not ok and needs to stop. But when? How?

Access is about how we create it to meet our needs, not how others create it for us.

If you haven’t had the opportunity to read John Lee Clark’s “Against Access” – I highly recommend this to better understand the gist of this blog. His work can be found at https://audio.mcsweeneys.net/transcripts/against_access.html.

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